18-year-old college student wants to move out of her parents' home after being forced to care for her 3 younger siblings for all her teenaged years: 'I don’t want to go through that again'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Aug 1, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

It's important for kids to learn responsibility by helping out around the house, and as they get older, they get more things to do according to their maturity. The point of the whole responsibility thing is to help them learn the skills that they're going to need to live on their own, setting them up for success. This is just good parenting. 

It is not, however, good parenting to demand help around the home to the point where it actively hurts their growth and development and gets in the way of opportunities they might have for the betterment of their own future. And requiring an older sibling to take on the role of a de facto parent is not setting them up for success, beyond, of course, the usual requests for babysitting and looking after their siblings after school sometimes.

After spending her entire teenage years helping out her parents with her younger siblings, this 18-year-old college student has decided that she needs to move out and strike out on her own. Her extended family members have even recognized that her parents regard her as being a free child, and she can see that remaining at home is going to get in the way of her studies. She is realizing that the best way to set up for her own issue is to make the difficult decision of going against her parents and moving out despite their protests.

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  • 01

    "AITA for wanting to move out of my parent’s house before college."

    He [M36] was kicked out of my [F34] parents house for trashing it and generally being very disrespectful. My aunt let him move into their tiny home for about 2 months that they had in their backyard and he trashed that as well. They went to check on something in there and saw that he had destroyed the carpets, stained the walls, broken the counter tops, and some door hinges. I honestly don't know how he did so much damage on his own, he never had any visitors as he's kind of a loner.
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  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10537302016
    via Jayson Hinrichsen For Unsplash+

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    Well they kicked him out as well and had to spend thousands of dollars to get everything fixed. Now he wants to live at my place since my husband and I have a guest bedroom. He doesn't have a job and refuses to get one. The kicker is how entitled he feels to my life style. He said I HAD to let him live rent free, my husband and I had to pay for his all his groceries, pay for any time. he wants to order delivery, I have to drive him wherever he wants since he doesn't have a car, I have to pay for
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  • 04
    I practically laughed at him and told him absolutely not. He can get a job, find his own living arrangements and pay for his own sh. He said I was being selfish and that as his "rich" sister (Im not rich) I owe it to him. Now he's telling our whole family about how I abandoned him and how I'm the worst sister ever. He even tried calling my best friend to try to make them turn on me. Not a single family or friend believes his bulls and support my decision.
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    Cheezburger Image 10537302272
    via Brooke Cagle For Unsplash+
  • 06
    SheiB123 Excellent! ANYONE who says you should support him is welcome to have him move into their home. HOW did he get to be so old without learning that you have to support yourself?
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  • 07
    Dismal_Value8874 Finally a story where the family are actually supporting the right person!
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  • 08
    HumbleCoyote Games OP I think my mom coddled him like no other and never made him deal with consequences. He had gotten used to being treated like a toddler who can throw tantrums and get his way every time.
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  • 09
    DiscoChiligonBall "No" is an entire sentence. "No way in h I" is also an entire sentence. "Betcha I can hire an attorney to file a restraining order against you faster than you can move all your stuff in a stolen shopping cart" is also an entire sentence, but also one you should likely hire an attorney and file a restraining order before saying.
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  • 10
    Flipflops727 I wouldn't even let him step foot in your house for a glass of water or he'll hunker down in your house & never leave!! He needs ar de awakening, because how does someone go thru life thinking this is ok?? Stay strong!!
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  • 11
    I'm (18 F) starting college in a few weeks, and I decided that I can't keep living in my parent's house. For context I am the oldest of four, and my parents are expecting another soon. I am in a household that believes women should do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children (two are under the age of five.) My father doesn't watch them, change diapers, work on potty training, or bathes them. Those are all my chores. I have been told many
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  • 12
    times they are my first responsibility and that anything else comes after. High school was a nightmare my parents only believed in children having an hour of free time a day and I had constantly struggled to get work done. At midnight the night before my sophomore finals I had a screaming new born on my lap as I struggled to study.
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  • 13
    Junior year during finals they left me with all three while they went on a vacation to Las Vegas. I struggled so much during highschool and I don't want to go through that again. My parents are the kind of people who would expect me to skip classes to watch their children, and I can already imagine it now.
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  • 14
    Multiple family members had expressed that they don't know what my parents. are going to due with out there 'free babysitter' and I have been told by multiple people on both sides of the family to move out when I can.
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  • 15
    I watch the children from 9 in the morning to 11 at night every day. It's exhausting and I can't keep up. I had recently gotten a car and I'm currently working on getting my license. My parents refused to teach me, I drove a handful of times with them but that was only if one was intoxicated and couldn't. A relative had started to teach me and my parents were upset by this and began to curse me out and stopped me from going eventually. They did this and also still complain I don't do errands for
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  • 16
    Once I get my license I will start applying for jobs, because I live in an area where busses are known to be extremely unsafe and the city is mostly unwalkable. I plan to stay with relatives for a while until I can afford an apartment, I already have money saved. I got grants and should be able to afford college, and everything is working out for me. I told my mother I wanted to move out, she ignored me at first and then got upset when I persisted told me no and that I need to wait one semester.
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  • 17
    Everyone has been telling me just to get my things and go, but I'm trying to leave on good terms. I'm going to try and talk to them again tonight if it doesn't work I might just have to leave abruptly.
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  • 18
    Pale_Cranberry1502 NTA if you don't need them for higher ed and have a relative to take you in. You're 18. Disconnect your bank account from them, move your assets to a bank they don't use, and get your birth certificate and social security paperwork to whoever you'll move to yesterday. Hopefully they haven't already hidden them because you didn't keep your plans on the downlow.
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